Friend or not?

I have a best friend. We’ve known each other for almost 4 years. But for the last year our relationship has started to decline. It all started last summer, when we had a huge argument, after which we hadn’t talked to eachother for 5 months (we were still following eachother on social media and I was the first to apologize). But I’m not gonna dwell on the details of the argument. The thing is that everything seemed to come to it’s place, when we reconciled. I feel like I should mention this : she’s two years younger than me and I feel really protective about her, as if she were my sister. Both of our birthdays are in spring and hers comes first. Usually we would send eachother heartfelt messages at midnight, and I did so this year. I made her a video which shows, how important she is to me and which was like a present (since we’ve been living in different countries for two years) and I made a really sincere post with congratulations on Instagram (I’ve put all my soul into it and I really enjoyed it). Of course, when my birthday came, I was expecting her to show her emotions towards me (as it is really important for me to see at least some kind of a feedback from what I do for people). But all I got was a dry “Happy Birthday”. No wishes, no nothing. Just “Happy Birthday”. I thought “Ok, at least she remembers that it’s my birthday”. But today something happened that I don’t quite understand. She entered a university. A huge step in her life. And I’m really happy for her. But she wouldn’t even tell me, in which city this university is situated, let alone it’s name. I have no idea, why she would keep this a secret from me. I always tell her everything, because I trust her, because I want her to know, because I want her to be a part of my life. Seems like she doesn’t. I’m not gonna stop talking to her and I’m not gonna be mad. She posted a story on Instagram about how she’s taking the preparation course, that universities give to foreign students. If she doesn’t want any questions, she shouldn’t have posted it in the first place. It’s making me wanna cry, the fact, that someone so close to me wouldn’t tell me something of this importance and would openly say something like “I won’t tell it to you, no matter how hard you beg me”. I only wish her good things and I’m extremely proud of her achievements. Idk why would she treat me like that. But from now on I don’t wanna share a bit of my life with her. And I won’t.


All The Bright Places

โ€‹This book is just AMAZING!!!!!!!!! I couldn’t put it down, like literally. I’ve read it in 4 days which totally doesn’t seem like me ’cause usually I spend not less than a week to read a book.

This book really changed me and my attitude to life. Finch is literally my soul mate. Not that I want to commit a suicide but I really liked him as a character. As the matter of fact, I didn’t really like Violet for some reason although I understood her.

I don’t think that I’ll re-read this book ’cause I won’t be able to handle those emotions again. But the book is brilliant. 100๐ŸŒŸ/10๐ŸŒŸ